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Satire

Humanitea: Life as a BA student in the Next Couple of Weeks

Posted on 20th September 20214th November 2021 by Owen Frost

Arts & Culture editor Owen Frost writes about the first few weeks as a Humanities freshers student at the University of Leeds.

Leeds Student who Refuses the Plastic Straw also Refuses to Clean up their Rubbish in Hyde Park

Posted on 21st April 20188th April 2019 by Robbie Cairns

A student from the University of Leeds who refuses the plastic straw has admitted to not giving a shit about leaving their rubbish in Hyde Park. The student, who wishes to remain anonymous, said they […]

University to offer therapy porcupines to students

Posted on 27th February 2018 by The Gryphon Web Editor

Leeds University is to offer therapy porcupines for students, in an apparent wellbeing exercise, designed to ease student’s stress. Prickly creatures not known for their affection, University administrators have arranged for the hedgehog-type creatures to […]

Shock as students realise posting photos of revision on social media has no effect on overall exam grade

Posted on 9th February 2018 by The Gryphon Web Editor

As exam season ends and results are released, Leeds students are finding themselves shocked and upset as their grades fall short of their expectations. A whopping majority of the student body has found itself surprised, […]

Fresher spends loan on Depop in attempt to look ‘different’: ends up looking like everyone else

Posted on 27th November 2017 by The Gryphon Web Editor

A student at Leeds University has reportedly spent all of her student loan on the clothing app ‘Depop’, in a bid to look ‘unique’ and ‘different’. She has since expressed regret at the fact that […]

White male activist group demand safe spaces

Posted on 26th November 2017 by The Gryphon Web Editor

Reports of white men wanting safe spaces are on the rise. In the last year studies suggest that 73% of white, heterosexual cis-gender men take offense at being called privileged and demand safe spaces to […]

Yorkshire to vote on Catalan style independence

Posted on 22nd November 2017 by The Gryphon Web Editor

Last week Leeds city council member Charles Duckworth called on the people of Yorkshire to get behind the movement to vote for an independent Yorkshire. In a city council discussion, Mr Duckworth stated that across […]

LUU resolution to ban vaping on campus

Posted on 12th November 2017 by The Gryphon Web Editor

A resolution has been put forward to ban vaping on campus following numerous complaints of damage to the student populaces reputation as ‘edgy Leeds’. Despite the published health benefits of switching the smoke to the […]

New Crispys to open in the Union

Posted on 12th November 201712th November 2017 by The Gryphon Web Editor

An anonymous source has said told the Pigeon that a new franchise of Crispys will be opening in the Union sometime late next year, 2018. The much beloved greasy takeaway on the corner of Woodhouse […]

Theroux and Attenborough to join forces for series on Trump, Putin, Kim and others

Posted on 2nd November 20172nd November 2017 by The Gryphon Web Editor

Louis Theroux and David Attenborough will be joining forces in the exhilarating new series, ‘Degeneration in one Generation’, The Pigeon is excited to announce. The much anticipated collaboration from Britain’s most cherished documenters will take […]

Female sex robot develops sentience, become feminist

Posted on 25th October 201725th October 2017 by The Gryphon Web Editor

A multimillion pound pilot sex robot experiment by the Dartmouth University may soon be halted indefinitely due to robots developing sentience and political thought. The University is at the forefront of what people stated as, […]

Theresa May turns to actual plants for Brexit guidance

Posted on 20th October 201720th October 2017 by The Gryphon Web Editor

The Prime Minister today has announced that she has hired a new set of advisers for Brexit negotiations, plants. Actual plants. With leaves. Seemingly another step in the plan to move away from ‘the experts’ […]

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