I spent the last new year’s celebration with my dog, Bear, and my other half in our quiet, small city apartment. Following the night, I wrote my first Reflecting with Kindness article, which was about taking a break and not being so harsh on yourself regarding new year’s resolutions, especially considering the pandemic that left us all locked up for months. 

2021 has been slightly different to its predecessor. As life began returning to normality, so did my expectations of myself, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. After a year of doing nothing but taking a break, I had every intention of making up for 2020’s laziness.

I’m probably not the only one who’s still harsh in my reflection upon the year, almost stupidly so. Last year, I found it reasonable to completely scrap my resolutions. This year, I’ve come to realize that there’s absolutely no point in moping about what I didn’t do when I can appreciate what I did do. 

Did you meet new people? Maintain old relationships?

Growing apart, breakups and fights are normal, sometimes even healthy. But those around you right now? Those whose presence makes you smile, whose presence you linger in? You fought for that.

I’ve had the realisation that my boyfriend and I actually need to keep doing romantic couple things to maintain our relationship. I’ve also realised that I need to call my cousins and friends to stay in touch with them. Maintaining a relationship is so much effort, so if you did, good on you.

Did you get to know yourself? Grown? 

To many of us, the world as we know it is fast-paced, never-ending. Don’t lose yourself in the crowd.  

I’ve gotten to know a lot of people this year, but the most important one is a girl who’s been with me all my life. I’ve not always been the kindest to her, but I’ve spent the year learning more about myself. Getting to know yourself is a never-ending learning curve, and remember, flowers only bloom in the right conditions. Treat yourself with kindness, always. 

What have you done for others?

Didn’t solve world hunger or the climate crisis this year? Don’t worry, I didn’t either. 

But I bet you comforted a friend in distress or picked up an item a stranger dropped in one of those thousands of Morrisons aisles. Perhaps you’re the person who always smiles awkwardly at strangers who pass you, or maybe you’re the one who always compliments your classmates’ handwriting. 

I always feel awkward complimenting people even though I really want to, and I bet I’m not the only one. But having been on the receiving end of when someone does or says something kind has improved the worst of days, so I say go for it. The feeling you leave them with is priceless, and you’ll be happy you did it.  

If your list of successes isn’t as long as your list of failures, I still bet you had a lot of tiny victories. It’s the small things that matter, so bask in your tiny glory (even if said glory takes form in a lampshade rather than sunlight). As I said last time, this year is just another small step in the marathon that is life. Try not to stress, you will do and experience amazing things, and after all, Rome wasn’t built in a day. There’s still a long way to go, so as we’re approaching the new year, reflect upon this one with kindness.