Love at first sight, or LAFS, is ubiquitous in Western literature, yet slammed by sceptics. Who can blame them, considering our culture of chlamydia, capriciousness, and cleavage? Most students are not celibate or conservative. We’re social species hunting for partners amid the gonorrhea and gluttony.
Researchers claim it takes a fifth of a second to fall in love, to a few minutes. Most agree men are more susceptible, the average man falls in love 3 times, whereas women only once. Men prioritise physical attractiveness, and assume women can be ‘persuaded.’ Male physiological responses of LAFS are: stiffened muscles, faster heart rate, flushing, and dilated pupils. Females experience tingling palms, hardened nipples, and quick breathing.
A teacher once declared: ‘love is merely a hormonal reaction, from sleep deprivation and mixed brain messages.’ Professor Ortigue of Syracuse University found that dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline are quickly released from the brain, acting cooperatively to create the euphoria of falling in love. Serotonin plummets, and dopamine floods reward centres. This is similar to a drug high, creating strong psychological links between the object of affection and pleasure. However, Ortigue warns it is a complicated issue of what falls in love: ‘It’s the brain, but love is formed by bottom-up (heart-brain) and top-down (brain-heart) processes. Some brain activation stimulates the heart and stomach butterflies. Symptoms we feel from the heart are often from the brain.’
Although ‘feelings of love’ have a scientific basis, alternatives exist. Trinity College indicated that the prefrontal cortex makes speedy judgments about physical attraction and compatibility. Within milliseconds, the ‘paracingulate cortex’ calculates attractiveness of potential dates, whereas the ‘rostromedial cortex’ decides compatibility- surprisingly, only once speed-daters realised others rated the ones they liked poorly, did they start to consider personality and suitability!
Furthermore, when encountering someone with whom we feel instant sexual attraction, we construct an image in our brain, activating neurons. This adds to a gestalt image of a preformed person, including their physical features and behaviour, that develops in childhood from our physical and emotional interactions with people close to us, e.g. boy next door, aunties. These idealisations fundamentally condition sexual attraction.
Remember thinking someone was God’s gift, then meeting them again and realising you were mistaken? Dartmouth College suggested that ovulation heightens female response to male facial features, e.g. angled chins and large foreheads- communicating masculine traits, e.g. strength and dominance. But at other menstrual cycle stages, females prefer feminine traits. Male notions of aesthetic beauty remain constant.
Contrarily, psychoanalysts claim that LAFS depends on our frame of mind- we need to believe something is missing from our lives, and a person can heal our pain. When we feel complete, we’re not open to LAFS. But if we feel dissatisfied, and someone catches our eye, we lose rationality, and fall in love. This reflects when we first gazed into our mother’s eyes as newborns; we were primed for love from that moment.
Aberdeen University discovered that romance is unrelated to attraction. Rather, the lover’s gaze is all about sex and ego. Jones claimed: ‘people are attracted to those attracted to them’- if others smile and maintain eye contact, it makes you feel sexier. Their laboratory highlighted social cues, such as ‘direct’ opposed to ‘averted gazing’ over physical characteristics, such as symmetry or masculinity. So, if you want someone to fancy you, just remember to stare straight at them!
LAFS is not always fruitful. My friend agreed to date a gorgeous, seemingly-intelligent man who later asked her, ‘are nuns real?’ It’s hard to decipher personality from first appearances. Factors may signal certain personality traits, such as a tan, climbing trainers, and rugged hair, perhaps reflecting a left-wing, worldly, vegan, eco-warrior who hangs off power stations naked. But their shoes may be borrowed, overgrown hair a charity joke, and tan from a sunbed obsession.
Problematic LAFS exists. We are aware of ‘like attracts like’, and only powerful cultural taboos prevent incestuous desires. Living together throughout childhood defeats sexual desire, but Tara and her brother Ellis experienced raw, sexual, ‘intoxicating’ passion after being reunited after separation. Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) occurs frequently in separated birth relatives; 50% of those who meet a relative after lifetime separation experience GSA. Gonyo, head of the GSA movement and author of Forbidden Love, had incestuous feelings for her 26-year old son.
Love is complicated. Although there is definitely something at first sight, perhaps very powerful, it is not love. It is probably lust, driven by sex hormones, e.g. testosterone, cortisol, and amphetamine-like chemicals, increasing excitement. Love is a grower; there is no time for this in 8 seconds.
Esther Lie