The Male Grooming process: busting the taboos.

 

 

 

Many men think that grooming is either overrated, or pointless. I am going to prove otherwise. A daily grooming process might be your way to make that all-important leap from a 6/10 to an 8/10.

I will start with an obvious one: showering. This must happen straight after you wake up every morning. Going out unwashed is always an unpleasant practice…whether you’re going to the gym, or your 9am lecture- you never know what opportunities may arise. Invest in a decent shower gel and a separate shampoo. Herbal Essences and/or Natural Sources are winners. The 10p Morrison’s body wash is that price for a reason! (N.B. Probably best to avoid anything with ‘value’ in the title.) Finally, always dry with a clean towel. A musty towel will make you smell like that sports bib that nobody wants at training. Trust me, the occasional trip to the washing machine is worth it.

Now, in the interest of covering all bases, I’m going to talk about the dos and don’ts of facial hair. If you have extremely bushy eyebrows- or any shadow of the dreaded monobrow- then don’t have any fear or qualms about having them plucked or waxed. However, make sure you don’t end up with a feminine looking eyebrow or the ridiculous ‘Scouse brow’, If you don’t know what it is, then lucky you. Ultimately, what you’re aiming for is to just tidy them up. Do not shave off any part of your eyebrow, it’s not worth it. Trust me.

Shaving your facial hair is also a grooming essential…especially if you are amongst the lucky few that can grow a decent amount which eludes adjectives like ‘wispy’ or ‘fluffy’. If you are blessed in this department, then it’s time to get creative. From Zach ‘The Hangover’ Galifianakis’ mane to Hulk Hogan’s handlebars, get your trimmer out for that unique look- your face is your oyster! When it comes to shaving equipment, I would just always recommend using an expensive razor and a good aftershave balm. Just don’t be that scruffy Hipster guy who looks like he’s just wandered out of the desert.

After one too many episodes of Geordie Shore, I can say assuredly that I don’t endorse using fake tan. If you feel like it is a must, then I suggest using a gentle tanning moisturiser rather than fake tan and the like. Looking and smelling of fake tan, is never a good tact.

When choosing a cologne/ after shave, buy something you like the smell of. Don’t just buy because of price. Don’t just buy because of trend. Just search hard and smell hard before you buy. Maybe drag a female friend along for opinions- you might even be on your way to a date, if all the Dolce & Gabbana adverts are anything to go by.

If you’re going on a night out or not, don’t overdo it. If the smell of your aftershave is so over bearing that everyone in Halo can smell it, then it’s too much- no need to stink of desperation, gents! What I’m saying is be subtle. One squirt on the back of the neck, (as well as your regular places) should do it.

And whatever anyone says, it IS acceptable for men to use moisturiser and lip balm- in fact, no one should go without them in the blistering wastes of the North. Just try and avoid bringing out your cherry chapstick at any Rugby socials. (It’s gotta be plain Vaseline for Rugby socials…)

That’s me done for this week.

Remember-I’m not the oracle, I’m just a top bloke!