National Coming Out Day was established in 1988, a year after the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay awareness. It’s been amended since then to be in support for all LGBTQ+ members. Celebrated nationally in the USA, UK, and Switzerland, it may not be anything new, but it has certainly gained attention recently, particularly this year. The sudden increase in attention, as with any popular trend, has led to criticism. The inevitable question has arose: do we need a day dedicated to ‘coming out’?
It’s a difficult one to decipher. The day itself may not be doing much, it might be putting too much pressure on people not ready to come out or, it might be nothing more than a day where LGBTQ+ people get more media attention than usual. It could even be putting an unhealthy emphasis on coming out and separating LGBTQ+ people from others. It’s impossible to determine the exact impact such a day has. However, drawing up a pros and cons list left me extremely unbalanced with more positive aspects.
Yet the abundance of posts of Facebook and Twitter, and every social media outlet in between, was almost unfathomable. And from what I saw, all of it was positive. Across the internet, people used the day to post their stories, reminiscing on how they came out and how they feel. In most cases they were better for it. Others opted to spread words of support and encouragement for those who are not yet out, and many shared their friend’s posts in moral support. Honestly, it was quite heart-warming to see such a flood of support and celebration. This begs me to argue that a day like this is a necessity; if even just for a day, worried or contemplating LGBTQs can be overwhelmed by voices of support and find solace in their identities, then the day is more than beneficial.
It’s more of a platform than a day and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Artists such as Troye Sivan and Halsey opened up about their sexuality and how for Troye coming out was the ‘best thing’ he’d done as coming out was a step forward in accepting and caring for himself. Others, including President Obama’s Twitter account, used to day to spread support for LGBTQ+ people. It gets media attention; it gets celebrities talking; it gets trending on social media. It’s nothing new, but there’s never any negative implications in making people feel okay. It helps to normalise sexuality and gender.
Now, I’m not sure if many people do decide to come out on the national day. I don’t know how many more do than on any other day of the year. For many, they’re still not ready to come out, and that’s fine. A day dedicated for coming out shouldn’t be a day of pressure and anticipation. It should merely be a reminder that when or if the time comes, it’s okay. Yet, for a lot of people, the time may never arrive. Whether it’s simply not safe for them to do so, or they don’t want to be vocal in their sexuality or gender, that’s fine. If you are in a positon as such, then please don’t let the pressure of a day force you into making poor decisions. There is no necessity to come out. For some it helps them, for others, it’s only a burden. Make sure you know where you stand before you make any decision.
A friend of mine took the opportunity to point out that coming out is never just a single occurrence. For LGBTQ+ people, it’s often repeated every time when meeting someone new and the fear is still there most of the time. A single day dedicated to coming out does remove all the other times.
Maybe a day needed for LGBTQ+ people to come out isn’t needed. But neither is a day for eggs (3rd June) or for fragrances (21st May). We don’t need days for them, but on average, more people opt for eggs or perfume on days dedicated to them and more people will be open about queer issues. It’s more of a day for awareness, celebration, and self-acceptance, than it is a day for prompting people to ‘out’ themselves. Overall, the reaction to the day seemed positive. Seeing people accepting and celebrating themselves is arguably one of the purest I’ve ever seen the internet.
National Coming Out Day may not be the epitome of life changing, but for many it may help them to be safe and accepted. There’s nothing else that the day needs to do.
Paige Johnston
(Image courtesy of Visit Scotland)