Dear Santa,
This Christmas I would like:
1) A fully heated house – It’s the time of year again when every uni student is looking forward to going home for Christmas; simply for the luxury of having the heating on instead of freezing your bum off. Gone are the days when your housemates tell you to put on another jumper or when you get out of the shower to wrap yourself in a cold towel and have your hair freeze to your scalp. Those of you with all-inclusive bills are truly blessed.
2) A December student loan – If only we didn’t have to wait until January for our student loan to come in; the 11th January is the day everyone, get it in the diaries! It’s always hard to break the news to your family that the only reason their presents are handmade is because you blew your entire September loan on alcohol and food rather than the DVDs they asked for.
3) No Christmas rent payment – Does your landlord also mistake you for A Christmas Carol’s Bob Cratchit and demand a rent payment on 23rd December?! I mean really, having to fork out nearly £1000 two days before Christmas doesn’t really scream Christmas spirit. Even the Cratchit’s got a bloody turkey from Scrooge on Christmas Day; all I’ll probably get is an irate text saying my payment bounced.
4) A fully stocked fridge – You know you’re home when the fridge is fully stocked with everything you could ever wish to eat, unlike uni when you’re lucky if you open it to find spread and ketchup. Even when you’re simply peckish there are 5 types of cheese waiting for you just behind the fridge door.
5) Cuddles with the cat/dog/rabbit/hamster/goldfish etc. – There’s nothing quite like coming home and having that special boy (or girl) in your life cover you in kisses – even if the dog breath and wet nose are an acquired taste. Or if you have a cat, the reunion may be slightly more aloof but you know that once you bring out the Dreamies they’ll start to mellow.
6) TV delay – Being able to pause, rewind or simply re-watch TV without it buffering endlessly. As the saying goes – home is where the Sky box is.
7) Ironed clothes – We probably all have an iron and ironing board at uni but unfortunately there’s always something missing from the equation – and that’s your mum. Without your mum that ironing board is simply an abstract piece of living room wall art that gathers dust.
8) Student debt cancelled – If I could only have one gift this year it would be to have my student debt written off. Perhaps that’s something I should take up with David Cameron rather than Santa though…
10) Also if there’s any chance of that pony that I’ve been asking for since the age of 3, then that would be great too.
Imogen Sheldon