Ed Balls hits parked car

Ed Balls has apologised after hitting a parked car in his Morley constituency. The shadow chancellor said the ‘bumpers touched’ during a ‘tight’ manoeuvre, although he was unaware of damage to the other car and drove off. In a statement, Mr Balls explained: ‘I have written to the owner to say I was terribly sorry and to reimburse the necessary repair’.

Chippy feeds fussy bird

A fish and chips shop in Helmsley has converted a rare seabird who refused to eat fish. The restaurant was contacted by wildlife centre staff when the fussy eagle took to eating rats instead of fish or chicken. Prime Icelandic cod fillets proved good enough for the endangered bird named Inowashi, who is being paired for mating in captivity.

Beauty contest ends in a ‘punch-up’

The Miss Scarborough beauty contest ended in a ‘punch-up’ this year amidst allegations of results fixing. Police were called to the event following booing, chanting and scrapping from the family of a contestant who had been eliminated. Reports describe how security guards were attacked with handbags and the winner’s presentation being ‘ruined’ by the disturbance. No arrests have been made.

Charlotte Mason