Expectation was high for Liz & Dick, a biographical tale chronicling the love affair between two of Hollywood’s most notorious characters: Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. LSi had been following its development closely, with many an ardent fan of fallen starlet Lindsay Lohan amongst us. Liz and Dick was Lohan’s chance to show the world that she still had a lot to give and the fact that it was a movie made for TV with scathing reviews was not enough going to put us off. When the production premiered on one of Sky’s lesser known channels, Lifetime, the air was rife with anticipation.

Sadly these hopes were dashed almost immediately. Liz & Dick was, to put it mildly, awful. The first thing to note was the truly terrible dialogue. Grant Bowlers portrayal of Richard Burton was extremely stunted primarily owing to his baffling interpretation of received pronunciation (significantly worse than Anne Hathaway’s stab at Yorkshire in One Day). It pains me to say but Lindsay fared little better, the only emotion she managed to portray throughout was that of a whiny toddler, not an elegant icon. Given that she was a child star herself, one would think that she would easily give a convincing display of the troubles associated with this, but evidently for her, it was anything but easy. Somehow they managed to make what should have been a great story of a tumultuous relationship, appear rather boring and repetitive.

The wardrobe team for the film put on a good show, but nothing could save this terrible movie. All in all the film (if you can call it that) was a disaster, the soundtrack was appalling and the entire thing was filmed with very peculiar and old-fashioned lighting. The whole thing was clearly made on an impossibly limited budget. If wooden acting, an awful set and an assault on your ears sounds like your cup of tea, give Liz & Dick a whirl, if not stay well away, it’s a couple of hours of my life I’m never getting back.

Lillie van den Berg

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