Tired of all the self righteous literary students looking down on you? Give those unemployable nerds a taste of their own medicine, with LSi’s Cheat Guide. This week: Hemmingway’s fishy masterpiece.

Who?

The Old Man A humble fisherman. Was once the big fish, but now down on his luck.

The Marlin A huge 18ft fish. Defeated by The Old Man and then eaten by sharks.

The Boy The Old Man’s only friend. Kind of sad really.

The Sea It’s the sea. That’s all there is to it.

Joe DiMaggio The Old Man turns his lonely eyes to you (woo woo woo)

What?

On his 85th day without catching a fish, the titular Old Man is locked into a duel with the largest fish he, or anyone has ever seen. A few days of existential rambling later and The Old Man is able to overcome this majestic fish. Weak and weary he straps this huge beast to the side of his skiff and turns towards home. While making his way he is assaulted by a constant stream of angry and vicious sharks that slowly eat his catch, until there is nothing left. Having defeated these sharks The Old Man returns home tired, yet still with his pride intact. It ends with the skeleton of the Marlin thrown out amongst the rubbish, while The Old Man dreams of his youth, of lions on the shores of Africa.

Why?

• Sharks are nasty bastards.

• Gone three months without as much as a kiss? Don’t give up, you’ll find someone in the end. Eventually.

• Fishing is a lot of hard work. Think about that the next time you tuck into your Basics’ Fish Fingers.

• Man overcomes nature every time. Take that Mother Earth!

Frank Jackman