Funny Money

Life is a journey of making mistakes and learning from them. University, with a large sum of money in hand, is said mistake.

The basic things you should indulge in are the student lifestyle staples – food, drink, and time wasting. Cheap cider and stock-buying spirits are first on the list. The next advisable tactic is a good set of speakers and a TV. You will spend most of your life avoiding study, so entertainment facilities are a must have. Food is next – don’t be ashamed to raid Morrison’s for all the tasty things your parents wouldn’t buy. Also get down to the markets – Makkah in Hyde Park is great for cheap veg, and Kirkgate does a bunch of reduced tasty brands (NUTELLA!).

The cheap student lifestyle opens the gates to a wonderful world of great deals that are to be taken advantage of. In need of a bit of cultural entertainment that isn’t drinking or being drunk? Orange Wednesdays for you, my friend. Vintage fairs are also unmissably cheap. At September’s kilo fair I went in with very little money and came out with even less, but which sane person can resist two dresses, three tops, two jumpers and a cagoule for £19? Comfort is also key – if you’re living in barren halls or a neglected house you can and should get two sofas for forty quid at Junk Again. Ours were named Angus and Gertrude.

Of course if you have more fun than sense, a great mistake for the anecdote book is the novelty item. I recently bought an adorable mouse-in-a-house teapot for 50p and pondered at its persistent leaking until I found the sticker on the bottom stating ‘This is a display item only. This is not a teapot.’…Oh. Perhaps a more worthwhile purchase was that of my flat mate – a small rubber man with a whisk for a head who apparently is ‘both whisk and friend’.

In all of this you will inevitably run out of money –fear not, part of the Uni experience is the NOT spending money. The two in-date items in your fridge will serve as an interesting cooking experiment – cottage cheese on rice is surprisingly nice when you get used to it. Three-week-old forgotten cider is another revelation for the taste buds. And if you can’t afford the luxuries of entertainment then the 80,000 plus students in Leeds and sexual health clinics mean fun is always free.

All in all we’re lucky to live in a country that can afford to lend us huge sums of money that we’ve done nothing to earn and we should take full advantage. So make note of whatever makes you happy and spend money on that. Buy whatever you want – except condoms, because you can get them free.

 

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