Science tells us that zombies aren’t real. Dead people don’t suddenly rise from their graves and they certainly don’t develop an insatiable hunger for human flesh. However, with the Mayan calendar predicting the end of the world on the 21st December 2012, and the recent incident in Miami involving a zombie-like man carrying out a cannibalistic attack on a homeless man, now is a good a time as any to be prepared. Introducing your zombie apocalypse survival plan:
Although a scenario where zombies roam the Earth seems incredibly unrealistic, there are actual scientific reasons as to how a zombie apocalypse could happen. An example is neurogenesis (the formation of nerve tissue) using stem cells. This process, coupled with cryonic preservation of bodies, could produce a scenario where the deceased are brought back to life with only basic motor neurone functions. In case you need any more convincing, zombie-like states already exist. Neurotoxins are known poisons which slow your bodily functions to the point where even your doctor will think that you’re dead. Victims of these poisons can then be brought back using chemicals known as alkaloids. However these leave patients in an empty, shell like state, with no memory and only the capability to perform simple tasks.
So, in the event that the dead rise from their graves and start attacking mankind, you now have a survival guide…
1) Use your Edge membership. Zombies aren’t the quickest of monsters, after all, there is a reason they’re known as the “walking” dead. However, if you can’t run a reasonable distance then you’ll be easier to hunt down. You don’t have to be the fastest person in your group… just not the slowest.
2) Prepare a food supply. Whether your plan is to barricade up your house/student halls, or to escape to the nearest survival centre, food and water are a necessity.
3) Get yourself a baseball bat. A gun is loud enough to alert the entire swarm of zombies to your location; however a baseball bat is easier to get hold of and means you avoid the problem of running out of bullets.
4) Get yourself a thick leather jacket or a material bulky enough for zombies not to perforate. T-shirts may be comfortable but they don’t provide effective resistance against zombie bites.
5) If a zombie attacks you, aim for its head. The only way to ‘kill’ a zombie is to destroy its brain, so attacking any other body part is useless.
6) Don’t get bitten. This point seems quite basic, but it’s one of the most important rules for surviving a zombie attack. After all, if Shaun’s mum hadn’t made the mistake of being bitten in ‘Shaun of the Dead’, he wouldn’t have had to shoot her in the face.
Louise White